Over my past few years of being an adult and actually understanding the significance of society around me, I’ve started to notice this weird trend in the United States that has me concerned. I didn’t know it at the time, but this trend seemed to become most significant when my little brother started doing Field Day in his elementary school back in my one-stoplight town.
Now, when I was in that same elementary school, Field Day was like the Olympics for us little rascals. We would go out and do races or triathlons or high jumps or whatever out on our track and football field, and every time, we would be competing for ribbons to see who could get the coveted first, second and third places. It was intense stuff.
You also have to realize that I was not the most athletic of these little rascals, so I usually didn’t receive a ribbon or award. However, I do remember that when I did, I held that ribbon in my hand in a similar manner to how Gollum held his “precious.” It was such a big deal, and every year, I looked forward to it.
Unfortunately, though, when my brother started doing Field Day, there was no longer ribbons for first, second or third place. All of the tiny rapscallions instead received participation ribbons because, yay, everyone’s a winner! Everyone deserves a prize just for being the special little awesome nugget that they are! Nobody’s feelings are hurt! Huzzah!
That’s utterly horrifying. Everyone receiving participation ribbons? No more first, second or third place?
While the practice may seem justified and loving and good at first, it is actually very wrong and damaging.
Why? Because, the more we pamper children and tell them that they are special and reward them for not exceeding, the more we damage them and, ultimately, society.
I understand that’s a huge leap, but bear with me.
When we make everyone feel “special” and give them all participation ribbons and not actually reward success, what happens is that we undermine those who have actual talent and skills, and give false ideologies to those who are lacking.
Now, I’m a firm believer that everyone has something that they can excel at. Someone may excel at football, and with the right amount of motivation and purpose, they could eventually land themselves in the NFL. But if someone is terrible at football, or, say, too short to land themselves into the NBA, then being “soft” and not being realistic will lead them to failing at their life goals, leading them into a huge of low self-esteem.
Instead, those people could have the skills and talent to be the best waitress or janitor – jobs that aren’t coveted, but still rewarding if people are taught to put their passions in the skills and talents that they actually have, instead of the ones that they falsely believe they have because nobody could tell them otherwise.
I have also heard of some schools removing the “valedictorian” and “salutatorian” positions from their graduating classes, and that the reasoning is because too many people were getting hurt that their sons and daughters didn’t get titles like that.
But if take away those positions and don’t recognize the people who deserve to be recognized, then those accomplishments are undermined. It takes a lot of hard work to get into the top two positions in any class, and those people who worked tirelessly are being told that others who didn’t work hard enough were getting hurt, so those hard workers don’t get anything. They do get scholarships and whatever else, but that honor of being the top or the best is something that is important in building self-esteem. I know, we are a society that despise the proud, but it’s not about pride: it’s about making people aware of their strongest talents and skills, and where their passions should lie.
If we keep on being a “participation ribbon” society, then people won’t understand their shortcomings because they are not told where they don’t excel. If someone is told, “You can do whatever you set your mind to” or “You can do whatever you want with your life,” then they become blissfully unaware that everyone has limitations, including themselves, and sometimes you can’t do what you set your mind to or whatever you want with your life.
As individual human beings, we have our limits. But nowadays, we’re forgetting to remind our children and each other that having limits is OK. You shouldn’t dream or believe in a pursuit that you’re not suited to achieve, and that’s OK. That’s what good self-esteem is about. It’s about understanding our flaws, limits and shortcomings and being OK with them.