It’s been a long, bleak season at (or away from) the movies this winter, hasn’t it, Cardinals? Seriously, when was the last time any of you were excited to see a movie?
And when I say “excited,” know that I don’t mean, ‘Oh, [insert drek here] looks tolerable. Wanna go out?’ I’m referring to a legitimate fascination or excitement associated with a movie released in the dead period of January through March.
For those who are unaware, January-March is that special time of the year where movie studios release potentially unsuccessful films and use it as a dumping ground for the general public.
Though once in a while in the last few months we’d get a charmer (“The Spongebob Movie: Sponge Out of Water,” “McFarland, USA”), a pleasant surprise (“Kingsmen,” “It Follows”) or an expected hit, be it good (“Cinderella”) or not (“50 Shades of Grey”), outside of that, it’s far and away the worst time of the year for mainstream cinema.
Oh, do I share your pain, moviegoers. The past four months haven’t been easy by any means.
So far this year, I’ve only seen one film in 2015 that was actually released in the year 2015: The mildly amusing but ultimately under-developed sci-fi flick “Project Almanac.”
This, of course, doesn’t include the two films from last year that I saw in 2015, “Into the Woods” and “American Sniper.”
Since then, however, it’s been a dry spell – not just because the bulk of what’s being released does nothing but pander to the lowest common denominator, but because even the passable stuff does nothing to stand out.
As much as I enjoyed the traditional retelling of this year’s “Cinderella,” I couldn’t help but notice the fact that the film’s advertising was fairly bland and forgettable, not making much of an impact.
You know your film might be in trouble when the preceding “Frozen” short film is getting more buzz than the actual movie.
Even with mild hits like the ones I’ve previously mentioned, it still doesn’t make up for the fact that so many movies in this doomed time frame not only underperform, but they crash and burn both critically and financially.
Problems with these films are fairly easy to pinpoint, stemming from unnecessary continuations (“The Woman in Black 2,” “Taken 3”), false starts for young actors (“The Duff,” “Jupiter Ascending”) or lack of recognition (I want to say…”Mortdecai?”).
It’s frustrating, too, because, year after year, this three-month period is consistently awful from top to bottom, minus some rare exceptions. And, year after year, the public seems to continue getting duped.
Just a few years ago we made the first “Taken,” an expected January dud, a massive success thanks to its clever marketing. Now this year, we were subjected to the third installment of the thrilling trilogy, where we find out, once and for all, what if our character was taken….again?
I guess you could argue that just shows the undying loyalty that the public has towards the movie industry, but even if you buy into that reasoning, ticket sales still tend to die off pretty heavily during this period.
The biggest thing I want readers to take away from this piece is just the overall awareness that movie companies take advantage of the public’s unflinching devotion to cinema, particularly during the first few months of the year.
The companies are aware that these films are bad, but somehow they still throw money at them on the off chance we’ll be suckered into being so bored with the dead of winter that even 90 minutes of mediocre escapism can make up for it.
So, I put it to you, readers. Take the time to research what you go to see before blindly following an advertisement.
Look at aggregators, check out reviews and chat with your friends. Keep the conversation going and let Hollywood know you won’t take everything they throw at you.
After all, whose pocket would you rather see your money in — yours, or theirs?
