What is strength? Plenty of people have an answer to this, but what is it, really?
There is physical strength, sure. There is the kind of strength we congratulate people on having through difficult times in their lives. I have been called a strong-minded individual because I am very gung-ho for my opinions. But a lot of us fall into false perceptions of what true strength really is.
Strength is shown when we are put in a situation that requires it. Strength is not something that is consistently in use. We are not physically strong when we are napping in the middle of the day – we show strength when we go to the gym and lift weights. Our mental and emotional strength is put to the test when we are thrown into difficult life situations that demand us to have strength. When we are strong, we do not crumble under the pressure.
But there comes with this abstract concept of “strength” a lot of falsities that really cloud our understanding of true strength. False strength is nothing but covering up our weaknesses in the times of struggle. It’s like when you go to the gym and see people there cheating on their workouts, such as not going down all of the way on squats or when benching. It’s creating a perception that is the opposite of reality.
For some reason, it seems as though this fake strength is being promoted among people. Boys are told not to cry during difficult situations because “real men don’t cry.” This is under the assumption that men have to be strong, and that crying shows weakness.
There’s also the false-strength ideology that you have to not have fear to be strong. Fear is for the weak, or so people say. False strength also comes into play when people are emotionally hurt, and so they deny that hurt, such as during a breakup, and instead begin hating that person or trying to ignore what really happened. Strength, it seems, is assumed to be not showing weakness and not being vulnerable.
I argue that true strength is when we accept our weaknesses and let ourselves be vulnerable, and persevere despite trials and tribulations. It is not shutting off our emotions, but instead accepting them.
Someone who suffers from depression is not strong when they pretend to be happy. No, they are strong when they seek help and admit that they are broken, but want to do whatever it takes to be fixed. Strength is being afraid to take a risk, but doing so anyways because there will be positive pay off. Strength is not holding a grudge, it is forgiving someone despite whatever awful thing they did.
I saw a true example of strength while browsing the Internet the other day. This man had been obese his entire life, but one day he took the opportunity to have a surgery to get healthier, and he subsequently lost 270 pounds.
Choosing the surgery itself took strength and courage, but what really showed his strength was when he decided to make a YouTube video revealing his body after his transformation. Loose skin was hanging everywhere on his body, and it definitely did not fit the standard of “beauty” that society holds us to.
During the video, I saw how scared he was to show the way he looked now, and when he finally stood up and showed what he hid under his shirts, he was in tears. His vulnerabilities were evident, but he made the video anyway. He was advocating for body positivity, but had been hiding his own body and his own shame. But despite all those emotions and fears tied in with how he looked, he made that video and showed the world.
That is strength. It is not being fearless or hating others or hiding emotions. It is overcoming and persevering, and doing what is difficult or even seemingly impossible instead of taking the easy way out. Strength is not about the outcome, it is about reaching that outcome despite the obstacles in the way, and never giving up. People are not strong simply for overcoming addiction or depression – they are strong because they are trying to overcome it despite the difficulty.
Anyone can be strong. We all have our own fears, our own weaknesses and our own struggles. Whatever it is, you can do it. Be strong.
