Have you ever thought about who you’re swiping right to before actually doing it?
With the ever-increasing popularity of dating websites/apps like Tinder, OK Cupid and PlentyOfFish, young adults all over the world are surrendering to the idea of meeting someone new through electronic means.
Whether you’re looking for something long-term or short-term, there’s little denying that apps such as Tinder have already made an indelible impact on the dating landscape.
What I find so personally interesting about Tinder, however, is hearing about people’s different rationales for what makes them swipe left or right.
Some I’ve talked to swipe solely based on whom they find attractive, while others have a process that is more drawn out and complex.
So, for the sake of opening up a dialogue about the pros and cons of dating apps, I thought I’d share my own personal, five-step process for swiping either way on Tinder.
Please note: My use of Tinder extends toward finding potential relationships, not hookups. So, if my process seems overly stringent … that’s because it probably is.
Step 1: Attraction. Upon opening the app, I am faced with my first potential match. And as shallow as it sounds, my immediate question is, “Do I find you attractive?”
Of course, attraction can be found in many different forms, but in the realm of Tinder, our facile brains automatically latch on to the outer beauty of someone. So, just like that, step one is complete.
Step 2: Rationalization. The next step is purely from a logistical standpoint … does it make sense? My eyes immediately jump to the __ miles away section. If it’s a crass number away from SVSU, I pass. This is definitely a reasonable step; however, I am sometimes open to longer distances.
Step 3: Presentation. Clicking on someone’s profile quickly opens up a trove of information, complete with age, location and interests all for the world to see. That is, we at least see what you decide to reveal.
Usually I’m more forgiving of the biography section, unless I find one of the dreaded “kill phrases” – a word or series of ideas put on display in one’s bio that immediately make me want to pass.
Mine “kill phrases” in particular are “party girl,” “country girl,” “420 friendly,” and all of their lovely variations. But if your bio reflects something along the lines of this, no judgment! We’re just sadly not meant to be.
Step 4: Representation. The picture(s) on one’s Tinder are one of my biggest methods of scrutiny. Not because of looks, but because of presentation: How does this girl conduct herself?
To me, these pictures are one of the easiest ways to make a notable impression on someone who might be interested in you. So, the hi-LAR-ious pictures on your 21st birthday or holding a dead rabbit by its feet from your latest hunting excursion aren’t the most universal way to win someone over.
Again, if it’s working for you, fantastic! I’m very happy for you, and wish you nothing but the best!
Step 5: Potential. After all is said and done – our interests match up, the distance is reasonable and I’ve found something to love about you, I take a short, hypothetical look into the future.
Do I see us working well together? Do I see us going to dinner, a movie and having a good time? Could I see a possible future with “us”? If so, congratulations: You’ve earned my swipe to the right.
I know what you’re thinking already: This guy is overthinking this thing way too much. In all honesty though, I don’t think I am. With all of the steps and precautions I take to online dating, I have to say, I haven’t had a bad experience yet.
I’ve matched up with quite a few people. I’ve talked to a lot of them. I’ve taken quite a few out on dates, and as a result, I’ve met some really sweet, funny and interesting women over the past few months I’ve had the app.
All I ask is that you give it a shot before simply swiping at step one, with your own interests in mind. You may just find someone really special in the process.
