No dictionary, no grammar: five French mistakes almost everyone makes every day

Let’s be honest: spelling and grammar trip up even the best of us. Who hasn’t stood helpless before a word that stubbornly refuses to reveal if it wants an extra letter or not? Whether it’s a wandering e, a superfluous s, or the sneaky double consonant, the missteps in our daily writing are legion. And unlike wine or cheese, these little language errors don’t get better with age. Let’s take a look at five classic linguistic banana peels—straight from the trenches of everyday French usage—and why they continue to pester us. Spoiler alert: smartphones aren’t helping.

The Agony of the Double Letter: “Ballade” and “Balade”

Is it “balade” or “ballade”? Here’s an error so common it’s basically a rite of passage. The French word balade (a stroll) often mistakenly gets two ls, probably due to its homophone ballade—as in the lyrical poem, originally sung, later recited. Historically, the two terms diverged: balader once meant singing ballads, but as troubadours travelled city to city, the verb evolved to connote wandering or roaming. For the record, medieval “ballade” itself once had a single l. So next time you go for a “balade” in the park, leave that extra l at home… unless you plan to recite poetry while you stroll, in which case, all bets are off.

“Parmi” Needs No Plural: The Phantom S

Blame it on association with hormis (except), but many mistakenly add an s to parmi. The dictionary saves the day here: parmi comes from “par” and “mi” (“par le milieu” or “through the middle”), and the “mi” here is an abbreviation of “milieu”—never to be graced with a final s. So as tempting as it may be, saying parmis brings you no closer to correctness. (It just brings you closer to a grammar purist’s stern glare.)

The Nightmare of “Cauchemar” (and Its Missing D)

Here’s a sneaky one: the word cauchemar (nightmare) is frequently misspelled as cauchemard. The culprit? Its own verb form, “cauchemarder.” But remember: cauchemar never takes a final “d.” Once upon a time, it was spelled cauquemare. Its roots trace back to the verb “cauche,” from “cauchier,” meaning “to press.” This little etymological detour comes courtesy of Picardy dialect and a cross with the Old French “chauchier” (to crush, to press). Sleep better tonight knowing it’s cauchemar, and let the “d” rest in peace.

• “Les cauchemars nuisent à la qualité du sommeil” is correct.
• “Cauchemards” will only haunt the spellers.

C or Q? The Communicant/Communiquant Conundrum

Should it be written with a c or a q? A fair question, since “communiquer” (to communicate) takes a q. Jean Pruvost points out that verbs ending in “-quer” keep the “u” when conjugated in the present participle: you get “en communiquant.” Easy. But—watch out!—when the word morphs into a noun or adjective, it’s with a “c”: as in “portes communicantes,” “vases communicants,” or the phrase “grand communicant.” As with so many language quirks, context is everything. (Apologies to anyone who still types “communiquant” into their address book.)

The Embattled E: Envoi, Oubli, and a Vowel’s Existential Crisis

If there’s a letter that suffers abuse, it’s the humble e: sometimes amputated, sometimes gratuitously added. Example: envoi (the act of sending someone off) gets a wrongful “e” added, when no such thing belongs. Likewise for oubli (a lapse of memory); don’t turn it into “oublie” (that would be the third person singular of the verb form, not the noun). On the other hand, you do write “il conclut” (“he concludes”), not “il conclu”—in line with third group verb endings. Let the e stick to where it’s supposed to live.

• “Envoi”: No “e” at the end.
• “Oubli”: Not to be confused with “oublie.”
• “Il conclut”: Not “il conclu.”

Why Do These Mistakes Happen (and Should We Despair)?

The proliferation of these five (and many more) mistakes roots itself in larger trends. The decline in teaching French, a turn away from reading, and the ubiquity of smartphones—these all play leading roles. Younger generations are more affected than the old-school seniors, who might be “old” but are irreplaceable in preserving language standards. As the gap widens, there’s a risk of returning to a kind of linguistic obscurantism, where only an elite knows all the rules, and the rest must make do with autocorrect or “Mister Google.” Without correct spelling and grammar, confusion compounds. Regulation of language was supposed to make texts intelligible. Ironically, it sometimes just creates a self-perpetuating inner circle, leaving others adrift. Poor Jules Ferry may well be spinning in his grave at the state of public literacy after all that labor to educate the masses!

Final thought: If language is like a classic car, let’s at least try to keep it in shape and running—occasional sputters and all. And when in doubt, reach for the dictionary (or perhaps a kind old-school teacher) before autocorrect leads you astray. Your next “balade” through the written word will be all the smoother for it.

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David Miller

David Miller is an entertainment expert with a passion for film, music, and series. With eight years in cultural criticism, he takes you behind the scenes of productions and studios. His energetic style guides you to the next big releases and trending sensations.