Paige DeSorbo on dating icks and why using AI to flirt is never okay

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• AI in Dating: Can ChatGPT Text Your Matches?
• FaceTime Dating: The New First-Date Filter
  • How to make a FaceTime date feel natural
• Intentional Dating: Knowing Wants vs. Not-Wants
• Exclusivity and Situationships: When Labels Matter
• Are Dating Apps Making Us Pickier—or More Efficient?
• Returning to Dating After a Long Relationship
• Chemistry on Date One: Instant Spark or Slow Burn?
• Rapid-Fire: Ick or No Ick—Modern Dating Dealbreakers

Paige DeSorbo, the former Summer House star turned podcaster and designer, has partnered with Bumble on Bee Line, a social-first series answering real-world dating questions from Gen Z and Millennial daters. In a recent interview, she shared blunt, funny, and practical takes on everything from AI-written messages to FaceTime dates and what counts as a true commitment.

Her advice blends lived experience with pointed opinions: some modern dating trends earn a shrug, others a hard pass. Below, we break down DeSorbo’s most viral thoughts and translate them into practical tips you can use on apps, on video calls, and on first dates.

AI in Dating: Can ChatGPT Text Your Matches?

Technology is creeping into our love lives, and one question keeps coming up: should you let an AI craft your dating messages? DeSorbo is skeptical. She argues that relying on a bot to write your texts erases personality and humor—two things that matter a lot when chemistry moves from chat to in-person.

Why using AI to flirt can backfire:

• Humor doesn’t always translate. Automated replies may miss the subtleties that make someone laugh.
• It’s harder to replicate authenticity offline. If your tone was composed by a machine, real-life interactions can feel mismatched.
• Dependency risk. DeSorbo suggests that leaning on AI for basic social skills is a red flag about emotional development.

If you want to save time, DeSorbo recommends leaning on friends for message ideas rather than a chatbot—people understand your voice and can help you stay genuine.

FaceTime Dating: The New First-Date Filter

Video calls as a prelude to meeting in person are becoming mainstream, and DeSorbo says she’s a fan. A quick FaceTime can reveal energy, tone, and chemistry faster than a long message thread—and it’s a low-commitment way to see if you want to meet face-to-face.

How to make a FaceTime date feel natural

• Be yourself in context: Dress like you would for that time of day—workout clothes at 5 p.m., cozy PJs at night. Authenticity beats an overproduced vibe.
• Keep it spontaneous. A casual video call that happens without heavy planning often shows personality in a truer light.
• Treat it as an informal check-in, not a performance. The goal is to see if conversation flows.

Intentional Dating: Knowing Wants vs. Not-Wants

DeSorbo believes many people date more deliberately now, especially women, but intentionality often involves discovering what you don’t want as much as what you do. Dating is essentially an information-gathering process: every interaction teaches you about boundaries, preferences, and dealbreakers.

Key point: Being intentional isn’t always about having a clear end-game; sometimes it’s about excluding what doesn’t work.

Exclusivity and Situationships: When Labels Matter

Age and relationship goals shape how people interpret “exclusive.” For younger daters, ambiguous arrangements can feel like part of learning; for people later in life, clarity becomes essential. DeSorbo says she’s moved toward wanting defined boundaries—no vague exclusivity at this stage of her life.

• In your 20s: situationships can be instructive—experimentation is part of the process.
• In your 30s and beyond: many prefer explicit agreements about status and intent.

Are Dating Apps Making Us Pickier—or More Efficient?

DeSorbo argues dating apps are useful for filtering quickly. Profiles give you immediate clues—hobbies, photos, lifestyle choices—that can prevent wasted dates. If someone’s whole profile is outdoorsy and you’re not into hiking, that saves both of you time.

How to use apps without getting overwhelmed:

• Scan profiles for non-negotiables early.
• Use the app as a low-pressure entry point—swiping and chatting can be a gentle way to re-enter the scene.
• Remember that apps are a tool, not the entire dating experience.

Returning to Dating After a Long Relationship

Getting back out there can feel intimidating. DeSorbo recommends multiple parallel approaches: use apps to ease into conversations from the comfort of your home, but also prioritize social nights with friends to rebuild confidence and have fun without pressure.

• Start with girls’/guys’ nights to remind yourself how enjoyable socializing is.
• Try apps casually—browsing or matching doesn’t force you into immediate dates.
• Set small goals: one coffee or one group outing to test the waters.

Chemistry on Date One: Instant Spark or Slow Burn?

DeSorbo is clear about her preference: she wants an immediate sense of connection. While some people embrace a slow-burn romance, she values decisiveness and energy from the start. If you prefer a gradual buildup, that’s valid—but be honest with yourself about what you need.

Practical takeaway: Know whether you’re someone who needs instant chemistry or someone open to growing feelings over time, and look for partners with a similar tempo.

Rapid-Fire: Ick or No Ick—Modern Dating Dealbreakers

In a quick round of “ick or no ick,” DeSorbo flushed out common pet peeves and surprises. Below is a distilled list of behaviors that get a green light or an immediate groan.

• Wearing a baseball cap on a date: Generally a negative—she treats a first date like more than a ballgame.
• Attempting to hold hands early: Not an ick; displays of affection are welcome if they feel natural.
• Calling women “females”: Major turn-off unless used in clinical contexts; she prefers respectful language.
• Dates that last more than three hours: A positive sign—the conversation’s flowing.
• Asking about attachment style out of the blue: Situational—can be intriguing if part of a deeper discussion, odd if forced.
• Ordering a martini in a rocks glass because a martini glass seems “too feminine”: Initially not a dealbreaker—practicality is understandable—but framing it as rejecting femininity is off-putting.
• Holding a fish in a profile photo: Not an “ick,” just a compatibility mismatch.
• Sending long voice notes (five minutes): Pleasant surprise—shows personality and effort.
• Messaging daily but never making plans: A firm no—DeSorbo calls out the “pen pal” trap as unacceptable.

Her motto going forward: avoid pen pals and prioritize people who show up with intent.

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