‘Breaking Dawn’ disappoints, brainwashes young audiences

“Twilight” fans, please hide your eyes. This review will be nastier than Bella’s child birthing.

There will be no swooning over Bella Swan’s (Kristen Stewart) and Edward Cullen’s (Robert Pattinson) “love” or gushing over Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner) without his shirt on (which by the way — he accomplishes not even a minute into the movie).

“Breaking Dawn: Part 1” accomplishes little to nothing for a plot. The first part of the movie consists of Bella and Edward getting married and then spending a honeymoon together where Bella realizes herself as a sexual being and begs for Edward to have her.

Finally, we find out an hour into the movie that she is pregnant with a creature that is killing her from the inside out, and we have a plot — kind of.

Of course, Jacob (Lautner) is not very happy with it, nor is the rest of his werewolf clan. They want the baby dead, but of course Jacob still loves Bella and wants to protect her.

Let’s start with the scene where Bella “gives birth” to her child: disgusting. Without indulging completely in the nasty, I’ll just say that she can’t give a natural birth and Edward must find a way to rip her open and get the baby out.

There is blood everywhere, and finally we see a computer-generated imagery (CGI) baby come out of her stomach. This shot is so ridiculous that it distracts from the drama of the scene and makes it comical instead.

Later, we get to see the “science” of how a person becomes a vampire through a CGI tour of Bella’s insides.

The CGI is completely overused in the movie, making it a cheesy rendition of something that may not have been an enjoyable movie, but would have been at least nice to look at.

As my friend said, they pass out CGI like Halloween candy. They throw it at you from everywhere, but it will make you sick later.

Certainly, I must comment on the fact that they break apart this book into two movies. We’ve seen this recently done with the last Harry Potter film.

The difference here is that the final Harry Potter book (and all of them for that matter) was so complex that even breaking it into two movies couldn’t include everything.

With “Breaking Dawn,” I feel like they accomplished in two hours what they could have easily done in one hour. They made the first half of the movie all about Bella and Edward being in love.

Of course, this is exactly what makes the teenage girls swoon and giggle. It also makes twice the money by breaking it apart. But it hardly makes a good movie.

If anything, it teaches young girls to ignore their parents’ requests and run off with their boyfriends.

In one part of the movie, a female werewolf decides to follow Jacob rather than the clan leader. She does this despite her hate for the Cullen family that Jacob wants to protect.

Jacob points this out to her, and she replies saying that she doesn’t have to believe in what Jacob is doing, she just has to follow him.

This teaches that young woman don’t have to believe in what they fight for, they just need to follow mindlessly. What’s wrong with this picture?

I give it one star for one reason: it set out to make a bunch of teenage girls spend money (or their parents’ money) on a film that will make them faun after pretty boys, and that, it did. That, it did.

This entry was posted on Monday, November 21st, 2011 and is filed under A&E. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.

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